At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
