Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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