Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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