Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
