He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
