Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
