I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
