are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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