i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
