it was like his penis was on wheels.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
