There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
