i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
