I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
