when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
