So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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