I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
