honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
