whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
