i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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