Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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