this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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