I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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