Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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