he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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