Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
