weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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