I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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