You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
