My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
