He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
