sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
