so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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