porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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