idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
