your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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