That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
