Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
