i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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