I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
