i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
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Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
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The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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