I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
