if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
