Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
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The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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