I want to make a zoo with you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
