Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
