Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
