I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Randomize
