i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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