Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
