Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
