Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
