He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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