We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
