YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
