Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
