Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Holy shit dude........stairs
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
