I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
