I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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