My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
