GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize