If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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