I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
