I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
