Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
